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Gaslighting Is Psychological Warfare

Here’s How It Rewires Your Mind

by Dr. Michael Haggstrom, RCSW

In this article:

The Neuroscience of Gaslighting: A Systematic Attack on Truth

Gaslighting is more than deception—it’s a full-scale attack on perception itself. It isn’t rare—it’s everywhere.

I’ve seen firsthand how gaslighting doesn’t just confuse people—it reshapes the way they think. It’s not about intelligence or strength; it’s about conditioning.

It starts in childhood, with narcissistic parents too self-focused to truly see you. They dismiss your feelings, rewrite your experiences, and make you question whether your needs are even valid.

It happens in intimate relationships—partners who pull you in with love-bombing, only to slowly turn critical, making you doubt your own worth. One day, you are everything to them. The next, you’re “too sensitive,” “too dramatic,” “too much.”

It plays out on a massive scale—through propaganda, media distortions, and political coercion designed to make entire populations question reality itself.

Gaslighting is not just emotional manipulation—it is a calculated psychological conditioning process that alters cognition, emotional regulation, and self-trust (Ermolova et al., 2024).

What makes it so dangerous? It doesn’t just play with your emotions—it rewires the way your brain works.

The longer you’re exposed to it, the more your neural pathways shift to prioritize their version of reality over your own (Sweet, 2019).

This isn’t accidental. It’s a deliberate process, a slow unraveling of cognition, emotional regulation, and self-trust.

What is gaslighting? Self-doubt of reality. Brainwashed narcissist

What Happens in the Brain When You’re Gaslighted?

Gaslighting triggers three major neurological disruptions, each reinforcing the gaslighter’s control (Stark, 2019):

1. The Prefrontal Cortex: Eroding Logical Reasoning & Self-Trust

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, critical thinking, and distinguishing truth from deception.

Gaslighting floods this region with cognitive overload, forcing the brain into a cycle of self-doubt and second-guessing. Over time, this leads to:

  • Decision paralysis—difficulty trusting one's own thoughts.
  • Increased reliance on the gaslighter—because thinking independently feels too overwhelming.

The effect? Over time, their voice replaces your own. The gaslighter does not need to prove they are right; they only need to make you doubt whether you are.

2. The Amygdala: Conditioning Fear & Emotional Compliance

The amygdala governs the brain’s fight-or-flight response—its primary role is to detect threats and respond accordingly.

Gaslighters exploit this system by:

  • Creating an atmosphere of unpredictability—so that the brain constantly anticipates emotional punishment.
  • Shaping an automatic compliance response—where disagreement feels like a dangerous act.

The result? You stop challenging them—not because you agree, but because your brain learns that disagreement equals risk.

Science proves gaslighting damages your brain truth perception

3. The Hippocampus: Memory Stops Being Reliable

The hippocampus is responsible for memory formation and recall. Under normal circumstances, it helps you retain an accurate understanding of past events.

But gaslighting systematically disrupts memory retrieval, causing:

  • Fragmented recollection—where past conversations seem hazy or uncertain.
  • Dependence on the gaslighter’s version of reality—because remembering independently feels unreliable (Rudenok et al., 2021).
  • At its core, gaslighting is a neurological hijacking of memory itself.
Dr. Michael Haggstrom clinical psychology expert calgary alberta canada

One of the core skills I teach in my signature SmartEmpath® System is mental resilience—the ability to hold onto your reality, even when someone is actively trying to distort it.

Understanding this is the first step in breaking free from the grip of narcissistic abuse."

- Dr. Michael Haggstrom

3 Ways Gaslighting Works: The Insidious Psychological Engineering Behind It

I’ve worked with people who were once sharp, decisive, and confident—until gaslighting dismantled their sense of reality.

The pattern is always the same: create doubt, instil confusion, and then make you rely on the gaslighter’s version of events. (Stark, 2019).

Step 1. The Introduction of Doubt

The process begins with small contradictions:

  • "That’s not what I said."
  • "You’re imagining things."
  • "You always misinterpret what I mean."

These statements, repeated over time, create tiny fractures in confidence. You begin questioning whether you misunderstood, misremembered, or misinterpreted.

Step 2. The Displacement of Reality

As gaslighting progresses, the target is coaxed into abandoning their own perspective entirely.

  • The more they question themselves, the more they rely on the gaslighter for clarity.
  • The brain, seeking resolution, begins adopting the gaslighter’s reality as fact.
  • The person begins to self-correct before the gaslighter even needs to intervene.

This is the moment gaslighting moves from external manipulation to internal self-regulation.

Step 3. The Total Collapse of Self-Trust

At this stage, independent thinking feels unsafe.

  • You no longer defend yourself because you assume you’re wrong before they even tell you.
  • You look to them to verify whether what you remember is correct.
  • You feel trapped—but struggle to explain why.

By this point, gaslighting is no longer something that is done to you—it is something your brain has adapted to in order to survive.

Gaslighting works by making you believe your own mind is your enemy.

  • The moment you reclaim your right to independent thought, the entire illusion collapses.

Why Gaslighting Feels Impossible to Escape

Gaslighting doesn’t just trap the mind—it reprograms the way you process reality, until their version feels more real than your own.

  • It creates a dependency loop. The gaslighter becomes the source of “truth,” even as they distort it.
  • It isolates the victim. Without external perspectives, the gaslighter’s reality is the only one available.
  • It rewires fear responses. Disagreeing feels more dangerous than compliance.

This is why leaving a gaslighting dynamic feels terrifying—even when logically, you know you should.

It is not because you are weak. It is because your brain has been conditioned to believe that leaving is dangerous.

Narcissists gaslight you, coercive control empaths targeted manipulated

Gaslighting Leaves Psychological Scars

Gaslighting isn’t something you just walk away from. Even after the gaslighter is gone, their voice lingers.

The mind, reshaped by manipulation, doesn’t simply revert to its original state.

Instead, it carries the imprint of the gaslighting—an internalized hesitation, a reflexive self-doubt that colours every decision, every memory, every emotion.

This isn’t weakness. It’s neurological conditioning.

When your reality has been rewritten enough times, the brain does what it was trained to do: question itself before anything else.

It does so in three ways:

  • Persistent self-doubt—the automatic urge to double-check your own perception.
  • Chronic over-apologizing—an ingrained response to conflict, even when none exists.
  • Decision paralysis—the need to seek external validation before trusting your own judgment.

Victims of gaslighting often develop long-term anxiety, chronic self-doubt, and difficulties making independent decisions." (Rudenok et al., 2021).

The Reality Shift: Seeing the Truth for What It Is

Even when the gaslighter is gone, the abusive framework they built remains.

To reclaim your truth. Fill in the blanks below:

✏️ Gaslighting Self-Test—Check off the ones you relate to:

☐ I’ve apologized just to keep the peace, even when I did nothing wrong.

☐ I started to believe I was the problem, no matter how much I tried to make things right.

☐ I questioned my reality because someone made me feel like my memories or feelings weren’t valid.

☐ I felt unworthy or unlovable because someone’s behaviour made me doubt my worth.

☐ I defended someone's hurtful actions, convincing myself I must have misunderstood.

☐ I felt like I needed permission to have my own thoughts, emotions, or needs.

☐ I stayed silent to avoid being dismissed, ridiculed, or told I was ‘too much.’

☐ I struggled to trust my own judgment because I was made to feel like I always got things wrong.

☐ I let a friend take advantage of me because saying no made me feel guilty or ashamed.

☐ As a child, I was told I was ‘too sensitive’—and I started believing something was wrong with me.

☐ At work, I felt like no matter how much I gave, I was always falling short.

If you checked off any of the above, you’ve experienced gaslighting.

And the worst part? The longer it happens, the harder it is to see because it conditions your brain and nervous system into submission.

It affects your relationship with yourself and seriously damages your self-confidence. It makes you believe that you misremember, that you overreact, and that you're the problem. This is abuse.

How SmartEmpath® Helps You Reclaim Truth

"When you've been gaslit, rewiring your brain is vital. That will take time. Join me. Let's journey together."

- Dr. Michael Haggstrom

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References & Research: Miano, P., Grassi, L., Riba, M., & Santini, A. (2022). Psychological consequences of narcissistic abuse: A review of clinical and empirical studies. Frontiers in Psychology. ♦︎ Carnes, P. (2019). The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships. Health Communications. ♦︎ Sweet, P. L. (2019). The sociology of gaslighting. American Sociological Review, 84(5), 851-875. ♦︎ Buss, D. M., & Shackelford, T. K. (1997). The evolution of jealousy and envy: Psychological underpinnings of narcissistic behavior. Psychological Bulletin, 121(3), 335-345. ♦︎ van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Dr. Michael Haggstrom clinical psychology expert calgary alberta canada

"Healing is about reclaiming it for yourself. You were never unworthy—you were made to feel that way. Now, it’s time to unlearn the lies and step into the truth of who you really are."

- Dr. Michael Haggstrom

EMDR Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapy Treatment Betrayal Trauma
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Therapy Calgary Alberta Canada
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